Dear Jill,

I write in response to your blog thank you letter of the other day. It was a pure pleasure having Abigail snuggle with me in my bed on the night before leaving your home where I had spent a good part of the summer.  The joy that it brought me, experiencing the unique closeness of Nana and special granddaughter will last my life time. I feel it was a small price to pay for the numerous nights of interrupted sleep you will experience as a result.

As a grandmother I feel entirely justified and vindicated for my despicable actions. I realize that I have created a monster and upset your adamant stance on the subject of bedtime routine. But, hey, I’m the grandma here and I get to interfere. It’s my job to spoil, overindulge, and play pure havoc with your standards and parenting styles. 

Now that you have used every trick in the book to try to reestablish your authoritarian position on occupying one’s own bed, Abigail will come to realize that the treat of breaking this rule will be reserved for when indulging Nana returns to the scene of the crime. She will come to understand that she’s able to get away with deviant behavior when Nana’s around and will come to recognize that it’s really not kosher, but, hey, it’s special and our little secret.

I believe we as grandparents have earned our cushy roles. We’ve been through the mill with our own kids…worried, struggled, and worked hard to try to raise good families. Now we have the opportunity to sit back and watch as our own offspring go through the motions, efforts, and challenges of childrearing. We know that rules need to be established and enforced, routines followed, and values instituted. However, we grandparents feel warranted in our efforts to deviate from the norm confirmed in the knowledge that our actions bring a sense of release and innocent naughtiness to the mix of the authoritative necessities instituted in the real world.

So please excuse, pardon, and try to understand that our annoying grandparent indulgences are not meant to undermine your parenting efforts. Rather, they serve to help balance the rigidity of strict and necessary parenting regulations. And be comforted by the knowledge that down the road, you too will be able to experience the joys of pampering your progeny because you too will have earned it. 

Love,

Mom